SASSINESS INCARNATE
by Dawn's Chilling in the TARDIS
Summary: The doctor(the ninth one) meets Donna. Sassiness ensues
1. just explosions

**Okay. I was tired. I was bored. And we were having a stupid conversation about nine meeting Donna. This is the lovechild of all of those ideas. And the ****_may _****be my shameless ships and random sassy people: Minor Jelsa, Persassy (he's sassy people! It's in his name!) Jack, Lanto cameos. And whoever else I decide is sassy**

One day, Donna sassily went back in time. She sassily met Nine.

"Who're you?" She asked, tossing her hair sassily

"I'm the Doctor. Who're you?" he answered, pulling out his sonic screwdriver and scanning the young woman to make sure she wasn't an alien. Very sassily of course.

"I'm Donna."

Then the world exploded because of the huge concentrated amount of sassiness

**Yes. I'm doing this on purpose**


	2. explosions and implosions

**I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacccccccccccckkkkkkk This probably isn't something you expect but, YOLO**

**Replies, replies. Oh!**

**Etharah: Extremely Sassy**

**Anon: Wait, someone got our weird humour? Well, here have some more sassiness**

**Truebluetardis: Okay, okay, chill!**

**GriffinGirl: The world exploded because the two sassiest Doctor Who charactors met**

**Artdirector123: lol indeed**

The Rose came. She looked into the heart of the TARDIS and stopped the world exploding. Then the world IMPLODED instead because Rose wasn't meant to look into the heart of the TARDIS again. She really was a stupid ape.

"Hey, is there a sass party going on without me?" asked an American voice from nowhere. In a flash of sassy purple light and a bucket of rainbow glitter, Jack appeared. He raised a sassy hand and the universe stopped imploding. For now.

A smaller flash of green light followed and Lanto came

Jack turned around sassily "Go away Lanto. You aren't sassy enough to be here."

Then Persassy came. Then he disappeared because he wasn't meant to be in this universe.

**I BROKE THE FANDOM BARRIER (also known as the fifth wall) Anyways, if you have any suggestions about sassy people then, like, I dunno, review. **


	3. Fire and Ice

**Hey look, I posted again. This has to be like, my new record**

**Artdirector123: NO need to be sarcastic Art**

**Etharah: Fine, I won't kill you in your sleep. And I have plenty of ideas without you!**

**Anon: Now I have to do research. Thanks a lot! Nah, it's fine**

Then Jack Frost and Elsa appeared.

Jack Harkness saw Jack Frost and said "Hey, your name is Jack. You're sassy, and your hair is FABOLOUS! My name is Jack. I'm Sassy and my hair is FABULOUS! Are we twins?"

"NOPE." Jack Frost said, and began snogging Elsa just because. Then the two disappeared in a flurry of ice and stuff.

"Hey, if we're having a kiss-fest, I want in!" Jack cried, swaggering closer to Donna.

"Yeah, Okay," Donna said, grabbing the collar of Jacks Jacket and snogging him.

"Great. Even in this universe I'm as single as a pringle," said a voice came from behind the snogging pair. In a burst of smoke and flames Leo Valdez, son on Hephestus, appeared.

**Hey, look, more fifth-wall breaking. And snogging. And shameless shipping. And Jack's fabulous hair (both of them) I'm breaking the fourth one next time! Again, If you have any plot ideas or sassy characters I should add, review. Or review anyway. That would be nice. I like reviews**

**Eleven: I review now. Reviewing is cool.**

**Dawn: Yes! See? Even the doctor agrees with me!**


	4. Get the sledgehammer!

**Hi. I'm back. Fourth wall Breakage is in this chapter**

**I've got over ten reviews now. It's a lot of fun to reply to them.**

**GriffinGirl: Sophie. Is. Sassy. YES I'M ADDING SOPHIE!**

GriffinGirl: YES HE IS

Artdirector123: Really? Sorry, I have trouble telling the difference

The 11th Doctor: Taken into account

"Great! I get purple sass light and that guy gets smoke and fire? That's not fair author!" yelled Jack at thin air

And then River appears out of nowhere. "Oi! Breaking the fourth wall is MY thing!"

And then Lanto appears again "I thought you loved me!"

Jack turned around, breaking off his kiss with Donna.

"GO away, the lot of you!"

The two people pouted and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Great, now THEY get smoke. Lanto was in like, two, episodes."

A random voice boomed "Three."

"Etharah! Get out of my fanfict!" another random voice called.

"no… You can't tell me what to do! I'm older than you!" Cried the first voice, Ethara

"My fanfict, my rules." Replied Dawn "Also, I think we're scaring the charactors."

"Oh no, I'm fine." Said the Doctor, looking up "Hello Dawn."

"Oh My Gods, He said Hello to me!" the second voice, assumedly Dawn, cried.

"Let's get you out of here." Etharah sighed. There was a thump, and the sound of fabric dragging across the floor.

"You're my favourite doctor!" Dawn called as she was dragged away.

Jack and Leo looked at each other.

"Ooookkkkaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy," Leo said "I'm just gonna…"

"Oh no, you're staying here!" The Doctor cried, Grabbing Leo's arm.

And then the chapter ended.


	5. Donna's a fixer-upper

**his one is based ENTIRELY around my ship. Also, I like frozen**

"No. We are _not_ getting together!" Donna cried, throwing her hands in the air

"What's the issue, dear? Why are you holding back from such a man?" Rose appeared and said "Is it the clumpy way he walks?"

"Or the grumpy way he talks?" River asked

"Or the pear-shaped, square-shaped  
Weirdness of his feet?" Clara said

"And though we know he washes well he always ends up sort of smelly." Martha said

"But you'll never meet a fellow who's as" Rose said

"Sensitive and sweet!" Rose and River said in unison.  
"So he's a bit of a fixer-upper,  
So he's got a couple of flaws."

"Like his peculiar brain dear," Clara exclaimed, poking the doctor's head

"His thing with the reindeer." Jack smiled, joining in

"That's a little outside of nature's laws!" Jack and Clara said in unison

The doctor stood up, "This is not about me!" He argued, trying to calm down his singing companions

"So he's a bit of a fixer-upper, but you You can fix this fixer-upper Up with a little bit of love!" All the companions said

"Can we please just Stop talking about this?" The Doctor asked

"No! So tell me, dear Is it the way that he runs scared?" Rose asked

"Or that he's socially impaired?" asked Martha

"Or that he only likes to tinkle in the woods?" Child Amy said

Donna screwed up her face in disgust, "I did not need to know that."

"Are you holding back your Fondness due to his unmanly blondness?" River asked, tossing back her own blonde curls.

"Or the way he covers Up that he's the honest goods?" Clara asked

"He's just a bit of a fixer-upper, He's got a couple of bugs!" the companions started singing together again.

"No I don't!" The doctor cried

"His isolation is confirmation Of his desperation for healing hugs So he's a bit of a fixer-upper, But we know what to do The way to fix up this fixer-upper Is to fix him up with you!"

Donna stood up "ENOUGH! I am married to someone else, okay?!"

The companions looked shocked for a moment, then pulled into a huddle

"So she's a bit of a fixer-upper," River started

"That's a minor thing." Clara butted in

"Her quote 'engagement' is a flex arrangement." Jack said slyly

"And by the way I don't see no ring!" Leo cried, jumping into the huddle

"So she's a bit of a fixer-upper, Her brain's a bit betwixt Get the fiancé out of the way and The whole thing will be fixed." All the companions sang

Rose stood forward in a solo

"We're not sayin' you can change him, 'Cause people don't really change. (Martha and Sara-Jane sang backup: "Ahh Ahhh")  
We're only saying that love's a force  
That's powerful and strange.  
People make bad choices if they're mad,  
Or scared, or stressed.  
Throw a little love their way."

"Throw a little love their way." Martha and Sarah-Jane said

Martha, Sarah-Jane and Rose cried "And you'll bring out their best."

All the companions started singing again "True love brings out the best!  
Everyone's a bit of a fixer-upper,  
That's what it's all about!"

Rory stood forward "Father!"

Amy stood up "Sister!"

"Brother!" Jack said

All of them started singing again "We need each other  
To raise us up and round us out.  
Everyone's a bit of a fixer-upper,  
But when it comes to show."

Clara pointed at the ground and Olaf appeared "The only fixer-upper fixer That can fix a fixer-upper is"

" True! true! True, true, true! Love (True love) Love, love, love, love, love Love! (True love!)" The companions were singing again

"True..."

"Do you, Donna, take The Dotor to be your true-fully wedded-" A Priest appeared out of no-where

Donna blinked "Wait, what?!"

The Priest smiled "You're getting married!"

All the companions appeared again to sing the final word "Love!"


	6. Yowsah's my notp

**I honestly on't have a problem with Yowsah. But this chapter stems from when I named one (fictional) tiger Sungai (Indonesian for river), and the other Dukun (Medicine man) and told Etharah. So yeah. She freaked out.**

**The phantom bride of Gondor: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy**

All the companions disappeared except River, who nuzzled up closer to the Docter.

"NOPE" Etharah was back, and was freaking out about something. "NOPE, NOPE, NOPE, NOPE, NOPE!"

A blast of wind flew between the two, breaking them apart. "YOWSAH'S MY NOTP!"

Everyone looked at each other and backed away from the angry author, who was now taking a physical form, It was a ball of light in a humanoid shape.

"Now, If ANYONE! Tries to ship Yowsah again in this sory, I swear, I will personally gut them and throw them to the lions!"

"uh, What Lio-" Leo started, only to trail off because of a burning look from Etharah.

"Yes ma'am."


End file.
